Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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