the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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