I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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