My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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