Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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