have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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