guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
