was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
