No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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