so that wasnt chicken after all
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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