Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Its about making memories worth repressing
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
