my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
