So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize