he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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