I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
