I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I want to make a zoo with you.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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