And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
