Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
