first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
