i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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