NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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