I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
