dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
