She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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