Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
