Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
