I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
How external is "for external use only"?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
