Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
