I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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