I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
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