he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
