3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
