I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
