You made me cry and you don't even care
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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