Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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