Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
