I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
we're making bets on your personal life
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
