winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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