I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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