i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
