The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
