I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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