i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
