So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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