I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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