In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
