the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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