So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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