i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
