She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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