very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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