I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
