Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
