Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
