Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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